To Be Present or Post?
First published: https://www.theconservateur.com/conservateur-club/male-female-friendships-have-an-expiration-date-and-thats-ok
Like many other Gen Zers born in the late 1990s, I’ve lived so long in social media ubiquity that my mind is preset unconsciously to view every situation as potentially post-able.
The CDC cites that kids ages eight to 18 spend, on average, seven and a half hours in front of a screen for entertainment each day. My own screen time typically runs between five to seven hours a day. Moral and techno panic articles about children and teens using social media have been quite popular lately, fairly representing the worry that millennial parents have with their children’s social media use. A lawmaker in Texas has even proposed banning children outright from such platforms. Children are just younger, smaller people. If we are worried about their internet exposure, we should be proportionally more worried about our own online interactions as adults.
Sitting in mass, listening to my priest deliver a homily on the Bible passages for that day, my mind naturally wanders from the heavenly to the temporal world, specifically online. I have the passive thought of posting a story of the stained glass window with an inspiring Bible quote that he just said. That’s not clearly a bad or sinful thought, but I was pretty startled because the priest's homily was about how we should focus on God rather than our own egos. Stepping back from that religious perspective, are we losing the ability to be fully present in a moment or experience because of this posting potential?
Similarly, cooking dinner with my friends the other night resulted in an adorable Instagram boomerang of us stirring pasta sauce. It was super cute, and quick to post, maybe taking two minutes from composition to publication. It didn’t feel like a drain on the situation. If anything, I wanted to capture the sweet memory together and hold onto it for a little bit longer. Is there something corrupting about making our community dinner about my own performance of fun and friendship by posting it to social media?
A nice dinner out, with people of any age, almost always necessitates a group photo or a snap of the food served. If phones don’t come out at any point during a special evening, it’s probably because of some prior agreement to “put down the phones.” Our online network of vague acquaintances and friends is a specter that haunts at every notable meal and life event.
With the advent of the camera, casual photography, and even books, every generation has had similar concerns about losing touch with the present by engaging in distracting activities. But there is something markedly different today about social media. Unlike developing film photos or losing yourself in a book, social media stories, posts, and videos permeate every corner of our lives and can interfere with normal habits and thought processes.
Banning children from making social media profiles won't deconstruct the cultural appetite to engage in performative posting. We need to first address what drives us to seek validation through these new digital mediums. 