Riverdale: The Death Of Americana

Read here: https://www.theconservateur.com/conservateur-club/riverdale-the-death-of-americanan

Archie Comics were created by Vic Bloom and Bob Montana in the early 1940s, about the teenage protagonist Archie Andrews and his friends Betty, Veronica and Jughead, in the fictional town of Riverdale. The comics have since become an enduring Hallmark of American pop culture. Likely in a nod to the comic's impact on Americana, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry even named their son Archie.

Archie and his friends went from having zany G-rated adventures in the 1950s to being oversexualized, debaucherous weirdos. Sadly in Hollywood, it seems nothing golden can stay. Beloved intellectual property is being re-written left and right to adhere to our new woke standard for personal relationships. 

Superman drops protecting “the American way” from his mantra, Justice League characters are in polyamorous relationships, and every plot line has some odd progressive social agenda. The Archie gang is another casualty of our illiberal-era and the regretful cast are forced to act out the fall from grace in Riverdale, a CW show that just aired its barely watchable (I don’t recommend even trying) final season. 

Riverdale brought the characters to life in an era-ambiguous “who-done-it?” teen thriller. The characters use typewriters, the cops use flash bulb film cameras, but everyone has iPhones. Almost every opening scene looks like it could be Edward Hopper print, and I maintain that the series has the most thoughtful character fashion choices on screen since Sex and The City.

How could something so beautiful, with great breakout actors, be so embarrassing to watch? 

Three words: Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa. Riverdale’s showrunner and the Chief Creative Officer of Archie Comics. Archie Comics also owns the intellectual property (IP) for Sabrina The Teenage Witch. The IP was used to make another beautifully shot show, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, which also had an all-star cast that fell victim to clumsy and awkward writing. 

For some background, in 2003, Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa authored a play where Archie Andrews comes out as gay. Before it could premier, he received a cease-and-desist notice from Archie Comics, warning of potential legal action if he depicted Archie as gay. Fast forward a few years, and Roberto becomes a writer for Archie Comics with considerable creative freedom. Following the success of his Afterlife with Archie led to more Archie Horror books, and the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, in 2014 Roberto assumed the role of Chief Creative Officer at Archie Comics, and in 2016, he went on to develop the television series "Riverdale."

“Why is this show so focused on teenagers’ sex lives?” my roommate asked me while I was (trying) to watch the final season in our living room. I ended up skipping most of the series until the final episode. Where, apparently, the four main characters end the series in a polyamorous quad relationship. Most of the series is too cringe-inducing to watch, which is too bad because the actors and actresses are very good. 

Some lines that were actually said with 100% total seriousness by very talented actors on this bizarre waste of intellectual property:

• In response to one character saying, “I dropped out of fourth grade to run drugs to support my nana.” Archie said, “That means you haven’t known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.”

• “There’s always room for one more kitty in my litter box.” - Josie (from Josie and the Pussycats). 

• “We make tickle videos for a guy named Terry.” - Kevin. 

Sadly, either the show writers were determined to rebel against the series’ beauty, or they were just trying to get canceled, or perhaps they were taking revenge against the actors' clear disdain for the awkward dialogue. Maybe Roberto was carefully curating the show's descent into madness as an act of delayed revenge for the cease-and-desist? It’s all very unclear, as well as unwatchable.

Comic books don’t have a huge circulation anymore, with Manga and more expensive 1 inch thick comic-books eclipsing the $0.15 cent paper thin comic books sold at newsstands and drug stores. Still, their characters and stories had and will continue to have an enduring impact on American pop culture through new movies and new iterations of characters in TV shows. 

Revising the character content of iconic American fictional-figures, from Batman to Jughead, doesn’t change how children think overnight-- especially when most kids don’t read comics anymore-- but it does point the compass towards where our pop-cultural directors want us to head. Hopefully parents are mindful of what cartoons and shows their children are watching, and complain to companies when they can, because the plotlines are cause for concern.