Published by The Conservator: https://www.theconservateur.com/lifestyle/the-mystery-of-dark-triad-men
It’s easy to use words like sociopath, narcissist or gaslighter to describe ex-boyfriends or men we are presently in romantic situationships with. But, what men really fit those traits? And how do we avoid being attracted to guys like that in the future?
We can use the Dark Triad concept as a means of identifying and then opt-ing out of certain relationships before we feel emotionally trapped.
What is the Dark Triad?
The Dark Triad refers to a set of personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Three traits are characterized by self-centeredness, manipulative behavior, and a lack of empathy.
This popular term of “Dark Triad,” was coined in 2002 by researchers Paulhus and Williams and has recently been talked about by Dr. Jordan Peterson and other popular psychologists in lectures and interviews.
Narcissism, specifically, has also been extensively talked about by Alex Cooper on her podcast Call Her Daddy. In one particular episode, she and a psychologist asked the question for their viewers, “is my boyfriend a narcissist?” The third Psychopathy, meaning particularly a lack of empathy, is more examined in true crime podcasts and on murder plot shows like Criminal Minds.
Setting aside the absolute, obvious extremes of this trio, it’s very possible for individuals to exhibit some Dark Triad tendencies and habits without fully identifying with the Dark Triad markers, or meeting the criteria for a diagnosis of a Dark Triad personality disorder.
The Dark Triad exists on a spectrum, and individuals can possess varying degrees of these traits. Everyone possesses a mix of positive and negative personality traits. It is the intensity, persistence, and impact of these traits on one's behavior and relationships that determine their significance.
Are Women Attracted To Dark Triad Men?
College-aged women, who often have less romantic partners to compare suitors to and have a more limited understanding of the working or professional world may be particularly susceptible to peacocking gaslighters under the Dark Triad tree.
When you have limited knowledge of how the working world functions, it’s easy to believe that the paralegal at your college town’s local firm really is running the show, or that the campaign volunteer has deep knowledge that will one day change the country. Perhaps, that is true for well intentioned dreamers with good work ethic, but it’s best to apply a test before giving that trust. Dark Triad personality traits can give the impression of high executive function and mask laziness and incompetence or passivity.
Some studies have found a positive association between Dark Triad traits, especially narcissism, and short-term mating success or initial attraction. These studies suggest that individuals high in Dark Triad traits may possess certain characteristics, such as confidence, charisma, and assertiveness, which can initially appeal to potential partners in certain contexts.
However, other studies have found mixed or null results, indicating that the relationship between Dark Triad traits and attraction is more nuanced and varied. Attraction is a complex phenomenon influenced by multiple factors, including individual preferences, cultural norms, personal experiences, and relationship goals. The specific role of the Dark Triad traits in attraction is still an area of ongoing research and debate within the field of psychology.
Your Toxic Situationship: Am I Dating A Dark Triad Personality?
There is evidence suggesting that some individuals may be attracted to individuals displaying Dark Triad traits in certain contexts. But, it is not accurate to make a blanket statement that all women are universally more attracted to Dark Triad personality types.
Turning away from scientific studies, it’s not terribly uncommon to know a jerk who is dating a nice girl. Manipulative behavior, particularly gaslighting, runs rampant in the dating scene.
It’s important to develop self-awareness, empathy, and a code of ethics to mitigate the negative impacts of these traits. Psychology, like every social science, is imperfect. The categorization of individuals into distinct types oversimplifies the complexity of human personality and fails to capture the full range of individual differences. This doesn’t mean that we should discount psychologists and the research they produce, but acknowledge the human personality is dynamic and complex.
No Perfect Way To Test For Goodness
There is no universally accepted model or theory of personality types. Different personality type frameworks exist, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), Enneagram, and DISC, each with its own set of categories and constructs.
Also, powerful, influential and/or wealthy men are not necessarily always jerks. One study used a sample of professional male fighters and college-aged non-fighters. The results showed no significant correlations between winning percentages for professional fighters and Machiavellianism, psychopathy, or narcissism. Meaning that either those personality traits had no effect on work ethic and talent, or they balanced out with highly motivated less selfish fighters.
How To Filter For A Good Partner
What we can know for certain is when someone makes us feel bad.
Pay attention to your feelings, pay attention to your gut, and pay attention to your friends.
Carefully look at his friends- if he has few, or none, think about why. If he seems to only have friends who he met recently, meaning no long term friends or friends from earlier phases of life, figure out why that is.
Be mindful to identify traits that speak to someone's rationality, confidence, honor and responsibility, and not just towards things that seem to be markers of power.
